We are always looking for contributions to the newsletter. News from branches is particularly welcome as is the chance for us to promote any fundraising, but also interesting cases (anonymised of course), happy endings, tips for self-help. Please send to news.team@fnf.org.uk

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A reminder here of the Department for Education guidance on schools and parental responsibility  Understanding and dealing with issues relating to parental responsibility - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk) For clarity, all people with PR have the right to engagement with the school and to view school files, but unfortunately not all parents are honest with schools and may convince staff there are injunction/prohibitions or whatever against the non-resident parent. In this situations schools should check by asking for court orders before acting. 

Parents are entitled to full information, to be invited to parents’ meetings and the like.  Difficulties with schools need escalating to the local Education Authority, with reference to these guidelines. We do not know of a case where this has not worked. We also know of successes in private schools, academies, free schools and religious schools although the referral route is often different.

The situation with nurseries and childminders is less clear. Nurseries often claim they have no contract with the non-resident parent and so no obligation to report to them. 

There is one issue not dealt with, it is one that presents problems, particularly in cases of alienation. Where a parent may claim that their child is ‘Gillick competent’ and exercising their right for their personal information to be withheld from the target parent. (LINK)

The situation with doctors is less promising, though a reference, when dealing with surgery manager and GPs can be made to British Medical Association’s guidance (LINK). 

Local Authority Social Services Departments used to be common offenders in excluding parents when children are made the subject of orders. Legally, part of their investigations must legally enquire if any of the children they deal with have ‘other parents’ with PR. The social workers are attached to the child and so when they investigate the child circumstances and find a single parent (apparently), that is the context of their investigations. Non-resident parents will have to ask they are invited to meetings and consulted regarding their child. We know of no recent cases where they have been excluded, but this may be simply because most families we deal with are ‘private law’ cases. 

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The London Borough of Tower Hamlets, we are told, provide family mediation services for their residents free. There are of course nationally available mediation services, chargeable but with the government funded voucher worth £500 available towards the cost. 

The issue taken to Tower Hamlets by an FNF member, which triggered the service, was a unilateral decision to change the children’s school without the consent of the ‘other parent’. Support is available, we are told, to one parent even if the other is uncooperative.  

This seems excellent. Do other local authorities do the same? If so, could we hear about it? Can our branches and members take it up with their local council to widen the scheme?  

Details of the LBTH are in this link [LINK] 

If you want to know more about that scheme, contact Chris Myers 0778893793 

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As well as our own Surviving Separation course (Surviving Separation Course- Putting the Children First), please find details of a new paid course (with reduced rates for parents on benefits) offered by our partner organisation, Shared Parenting Scotland, across the UK, called New Ways For Families www.newwaysforfamilies.uk.

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LINK TO THE ARTICLE

The media was full of this murder at the end of last month.  

This note is about the case as reported. Reports, and still more re-reports on social media are affected by agendas which might put a spin on the cold facts. 

Alfie Steele was a nine-year-old killed by his mother and her new partner. He was convicted of murder and she of manslaughter. They were clearly both involved, but how much of the horrors were directly inflicted between them is unclear.  

Step parenting generally has a good record. However, stepparents, or more specifically stepfathers, feature disproportionately in the mercifully uncommon horror stories. Both sometimes feel the need to wipe out the history of separation and rebuild a new perfect family together, eliminating the non-resident parent. The role of a stepparent is not simple and requires delicate handling when they are introduced to your child from your last relationship. The expectations of a stepparent regarding the child of their new partner needs managing too. It is rarely something family courts take into consideration.  

Clearly a risk factor insufficiently addressed when there are other concerns for child or maternal welfare.  

There appears to have been no mention of Alfie’s natural father in the reports. No-one seems to be interested. Is he dead? Is he a ‘deadbeat dad’ (they exist)?  Was he excluded? Something to be noted.    

Mothers with possession of their children can invoke the police, CAFCASS and the family courts if they have allegations of abuse of their children or themselves by the children’s father. These are normally taken seriously and often result in him not being allowed to see his children until he has cleared his name. A father (or his family) who fears his children are being abused by their mother or her new partner is rarely taken notice of. 

We must put in some defence of the police and social workers. There may well be a search on for low grade workers to be vilified for bad decisions. The real culprits, however, are higher up. Most of the individuals on the front line don’t have the time, training, support or resources to do what is expected of them properly.  

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